A wife is a female partner in a marriage. A wife is known as "Patni", means a woman who shares every thing in this world with her husband and he does the same, including their identity. Decisions are ideally made in mutual consent. A wife usually takes care of anything inside her household, including the family’s health, the children’s education.
In Hinduism ,a wife is known as a "Patni" or "Ardhangini"(similar to "the better half") meaning a part of the Husband .. She takes all cares of her Husband and children.. In Hinduism, a woman or man can get married, but only have one wife or husband respectively. Commonly, a wife wears vermillion powder on her forehead to show her status as a married woman.
Who is a good wife?
How to be a good wife?
What are the Qualities of an ideal life partner?
What are the virtues she should have?
The answers to these questions are given in Neethisaram (also referred to as Neeti Saara or Niti Sastra). According to a popular verse of Neeti Sara which is written by a man, the 6 Noble Virtues a housewife should have are summed up in the verse,
Wifely virtues are also described in Tulasi Ramayana (Sri Ramacharitamanasa) Aranya Kanda verse 4 as advice given to Sita by Sage Atri’s wife Ansuya.
As per the verse, ‘Devotion of body, speech and mind to her lord’s (husband’s) feet is the only duty, sacred vow and penance of a woman
it outlines the qualities an Indian bride should have.
Meaning of 'Karyeshu Dasi, Karaneshu Manthri; Bhojeshu Mata, Shayaneshu Rambha, Roopeshu lakshmi, Kshamayeshu Dharitri, Shat dharmayukta, Kuladharma Pathni'.
1) Karyeshu Dasi: works like a servant
2) Karaneshu Mantri : advises like a minister
3) Bhojeshu Mata: feeds like a mother
4) Shayaneshu Ramba : Pleases in bed like the heavenly beauty Rambha
5) Roopeshu Lakshmi : Beautiful like Goddess Lakshmi
6) Kshmayeshu Dharitri : Having patience like Earth
7) Shat dharma yuktah: woman who has this six virtues
8) Kula dharma Patni : good housewife (a married woman who is not employed outside the home)
In short, a good housewife should
Be like a servant in doing the chores of the House
give intelligent advice like a minister to her husband
serve food to the husband as lovingly as a mother feeds her son
like a courtesan in the Bedroom
Beautiful like Maha Lakshmi and
Have the forbearance of Mother Earth
the Hindu Dharma also has references about husband and wife relationship as ‘saha dharma chariNam’ which means sharing of dharma equally. It is also said that the results or fruits of the chores would be shared equally. As per Manu, ‘where women are honored, the Gods are pleased; where they are not honored, all work becomes fruitless’.
Here are some of the Qualities a man looks in his wife.
1) Be pleasant: It is said that 'we need to treat others the way we want ourselves to be treated’. Never be rude to our husband, family and friends. Be warm, kind, positive, understanding and friendly. Work to be pleasant toward your husband. Don’t be one of those people who make everyone around feel bad just because they have had a hard day. Welcome your husband with a smile when he comes home instead of a sour face. A good wife honors her hubby by keeping a pleasant tone in her voice, a happy smile on her face and a neat and clean appearance. Listen to him talk about his day especially if it was a difficult one. If you don't like how you partner treats you, take a minute to notice how you treat your partner and correct your behavior.
2) Treat your Husband with Respect: If you expect respect from others we need to treat others with respect too. Haven’t we all heard ‘Give respect and take respect’. Respect can be reflected in the way one talks and behaves. Always speak in a loving way and refrain from speaking in a harsh manner. A good wife respects her hubby and she never chooses to belittle, strike, humiliate or otherwise harm him in private nor in public. It is better to watch what you say and think before speaking as it is not possible to take back the words once they are said. A good wife will treat her man with respect in front of others and at home.
3) Communicate: Communication is key to a good and solid marriage. Do not hide things from your husband or keep secrets after marriage. Be honest to him. Find time to sit and talk with your husband on a daily basis even if it is for only half an hour. If you let things bottle up and feel that you cannot share with your husband anything then your marriage is in trouble. Be a good listener when your husband is talking. You may have a dozen important things to tell him but allow him to talk first. Don't greet him with complaints and problems the moment he comes back from work. Good Communication also helps to build trust and strengthen your relationship. After marriage the wife and husband are a team or partners. Do not take any major decisions about the family without consulting with husband. Fights or problems may happen in between the two but do not let the world know about it rather solve it between yourselves. The fight you had last week over shopping or whatever is over and done with. So move on with it and stop rehashing old stuff and reminding him of his faults. Do not resort to name calling, hitting, spitting, breaking dishes or anything else when you lose your temper. If you do he may actually start to fall out of love with you and you could lose him all together.
4) Be Supportive: A husband expects wife’s support and understanding especially in times of troubles. A good wife loves her hubby through his successes and failures and provides reassurance when he's feeling down. She is a nurturer and an equal partner in the marriage. Support your husband in all stages of his career and life. Do not belittle your man or hurt his ego. It is often heard saying that ‘a wife can make a man or break a man’. There’s no quicker way to build resentment in your man than to criticize him or belittle him especially in front of others. Be proud of him on his accomplishments and genuinely complement him. If you do this you can expect your husband to behave with you in the same manner and also respect you more for your support and thoughtfulness. When you don’t agree with him respectfully let him know you don’t agree.
5) Do not nag: No man would like a nagging wife. If you want to get your own way ask him nicely. Many wives think that is the only way to get her husband to do things is by nagging. But the truth is that your nagging can create unwanted rift or can make things worse between the two of you. Your husband is a grown man with his own thoughts and desires. Just because you think he should be doing something particular doesn't mean he has to do it.
6) Give him his space: As a wife you need to understand that your husband has a life other than you also. He has his family, friends and colleagues who too are part of his life. He also may have some hobbies or passions he is involved in. Don’t expect his undivided attention. Don’t stop him if he wants to go out and hang out with his friends sometimes or engage in a hobby or sport that he likes. An interfering wife can sometimes be too irritating.
7) Keep him happy in Bed: Sexual intimacy is one of the most essential things in any marriage. Please your man in bed. If you cannot keep your man happy in Bed he would go where he can get it. After all, a Man is a man!
8) Plan Surprises: Men like surprises too. It can be anything like organizing his birthday party without him knowing about it or planning a special night of passion by playing a seductress. Your surprises do not have to be elaborate and can be as simple as making him his favorite snack or any of his favorite dishes once in a while even if you would rather eat something else.
9) Express your love and appreciation often: Men likes praises and appreciation. Make the best of your time together. Men like to hear the words ‘I love you’ too. Also join him in activities that he's interested in even though you would have preferred to do something else. Give him a thoughtful gift once in a while. Make it a point never to forget the special days in his life. Pamper him very often, especially when he is at home. You can even cook for him or give him a good massage. Making him dependent on you by doing his chores when he is at home is not a bad idea. Let him miss you and think about you when you are not around. These gestures won’t go unnoticed and it may even inspire him to do something nice for you. Don't withhold affection.
10) Honesty, Loyalty and Dedication: A good wife would be honest, loyal and dedicated to her husband. Marriage is a life long commitment and the vows you have taken at the time of marriage should be kept in all conditions.
11) Prepare yourself: A good wife honors her hubby by keeping a pleasant tone in her voice, a happy smile on her face and a neat and clean appearance. Take special care about your appearance and everyday. Include exercises or yoga in your daily routine. Be hygienic. Some woman feel that once they are married why they should dress up or take care of their appearance. A man likes his wife to smell good. If you are unhealthy or not presentable your man may cheat you behind your back.
12) Prepare the House: Maintain a clean house all the time. Clear away the clutter and spend time decorating the house. Apart from this be wise with money and take all the responsibilities of a wife seriously without complaining
Who is a good wife?
How to be a good wife?
What are the Qualities of an ideal life partner?
What are the virtues she should have?
The answers to these questions are given in Neethisaram (also referred to as Neeti Saara or Niti Sastra). According to a popular verse of Neeti Sara which is written by a man, the 6 Noble Virtues a housewife should have are summed up in the verse,
'Karyeshu Dasi, Karaneshu Manthri; Bhojeshu Mata, Shayaneshu Rambha, Roopeshu lakshmi, Kshamayeshu Dharitri, Shat dharmayukta, Kuladharma Pathni'.
Wifely virtues are also described in Tulasi Ramayana (Sri Ramacharitamanasa) Aranya Kanda verse 4 as advice given to Sita by Sage Atri’s wife Ansuya.
As per the verse, ‘Devotion of body, speech and mind to her lord’s (husband’s) feet is the only duty, sacred vow and penance of a woman
it outlines the qualities an Indian bride should have.
Meaning of 'Karyeshu Dasi, Karaneshu Manthri; Bhojeshu Mata, Shayaneshu Rambha, Roopeshu lakshmi, Kshamayeshu Dharitri, Shat dharmayukta, Kuladharma Pathni'.
1) Karyeshu Dasi: works like a servant
2) Karaneshu Mantri : advises like a minister
3) Bhojeshu Mata: feeds like a mother
4) Shayaneshu Ramba : Pleases in bed like the heavenly beauty Rambha
5) Roopeshu Lakshmi : Beautiful like Goddess Lakshmi
6) Kshmayeshu Dharitri : Having patience like Earth
7) Shat dharma yuktah: woman who has this six virtues
8) Kula dharma Patni : good housewife (a married woman who is not employed outside the home)
In short, a good housewife should
the Hindu Dharma also has references about husband and wife relationship as ‘saha dharma chariNam’ which means sharing of dharma equally. It is also said that the results or fruits of the chores would be shared equally. As per Manu, ‘where women are honored, the Gods are pleased; where they are not honored, all work becomes fruitless’.
Here are some of the Qualities a man looks in his wife.
1) Be pleasant: It is said that 'we need to treat others the way we want ourselves to be treated’. Never be rude to our husband, family and friends. Be warm, kind, positive, understanding and friendly. Work to be pleasant toward your husband. Don’t be one of those people who make everyone around feel bad just because they have had a hard day. Welcome your husband with a smile when he comes home instead of a sour face. A good wife honors her hubby by keeping a pleasant tone in her voice, a happy smile on her face and a neat and clean appearance. Listen to him talk about his day especially if it was a difficult one. If you don't like how you partner treats you, take a minute to notice how you treat your partner and correct your behavior.
2) Treat your Husband with Respect: If you expect respect from others we need to treat others with respect too. Haven’t we all heard ‘Give respect and take respect’. Respect can be reflected in the way one talks and behaves. Always speak in a loving way and refrain from speaking in a harsh manner. A good wife respects her hubby and she never chooses to belittle, strike, humiliate or otherwise harm him in private nor in public. It is better to watch what you say and think before speaking as it is not possible to take back the words once they are said. A good wife will treat her man with respect in front of others and at home.
3) Communicate: Communication is key to a good and solid marriage. Do not hide things from your husband or keep secrets after marriage. Be honest to him. Find time to sit and talk with your husband on a daily basis even if it is for only half an hour. If you let things bottle up and feel that you cannot share with your husband anything then your marriage is in trouble. Be a good listener when your husband is talking. You may have a dozen important things to tell him but allow him to talk first. Don't greet him with complaints and problems the moment he comes back from work. Good Communication also helps to build trust and strengthen your relationship. After marriage the wife and husband are a team or partners. Do not take any major decisions about the family without consulting with husband. Fights or problems may happen in between the two but do not let the world know about it rather solve it between yourselves. The fight you had last week over shopping or whatever is over and done with. So move on with it and stop rehashing old stuff and reminding him of his faults. Do not resort to name calling, hitting, spitting, breaking dishes or anything else when you lose your temper. If you do he may actually start to fall out of love with you and you could lose him all together.
4) Be Supportive: A husband expects wife’s support and understanding especially in times of troubles. A good wife loves her hubby through his successes and failures and provides reassurance when he's feeling down. She is a nurturer and an equal partner in the marriage. Support your husband in all stages of his career and life. Do not belittle your man or hurt his ego. It is often heard saying that ‘a wife can make a man or break a man’. There’s no quicker way to build resentment in your man than to criticize him or belittle him especially in front of others. Be proud of him on his accomplishments and genuinely complement him. If you do this you can expect your husband to behave with you in the same manner and also respect you more for your support and thoughtfulness. When you don’t agree with him respectfully let him know you don’t agree.
5) Do not nag: No man would like a nagging wife. If you want to get your own way ask him nicely. Many wives think that is the only way to get her husband to do things is by nagging. But the truth is that your nagging can create unwanted rift or can make things worse between the two of you. Your husband is a grown man with his own thoughts and desires. Just because you think he should be doing something particular doesn't mean he has to do it.
6) Give him his space: As a wife you need to understand that your husband has a life other than you also. He has his family, friends and colleagues who too are part of his life. He also may have some hobbies or passions he is involved in. Don’t expect his undivided attention. Don’t stop him if he wants to go out and hang out with his friends sometimes or engage in a hobby or sport that he likes. An interfering wife can sometimes be too irritating.
7) Keep him happy in Bed: Sexual intimacy is one of the most essential things in any marriage. Please your man in bed. If you cannot keep your man happy in Bed he would go where he can get it. After all, a Man is a man!
8) Plan Surprises: Men like surprises too. It can be anything like organizing his birthday party without him knowing about it or planning a special night of passion by playing a seductress. Your surprises do not have to be elaborate and can be as simple as making him his favorite snack or any of his favorite dishes once in a while even if you would rather eat something else.
9) Express your love and appreciation often: Men likes praises and appreciation. Make the best of your time together. Men like to hear the words ‘I love you’ too. Also join him in activities that he's interested in even though you would have preferred to do something else. Give him a thoughtful gift once in a while. Make it a point never to forget the special days in his life. Pamper him very often, especially when he is at home. You can even cook for him or give him a good massage. Making him dependent on you by doing his chores when he is at home is not a bad idea. Let him miss you and think about you when you are not around. These gestures won’t go unnoticed and it may even inspire him to do something nice for you. Don't withhold affection.
10) Honesty, Loyalty and Dedication: A good wife would be honest, loyal and dedicated to her husband. Marriage is a life long commitment and the vows you have taken at the time of marriage should be kept in all conditions.
11) Prepare yourself: A good wife honors her hubby by keeping a pleasant tone in her voice, a happy smile on her face and a neat and clean appearance. Take special care about your appearance and everyday. Include exercises or yoga in your daily routine. Be hygienic. Some woman feel that once they are married why they should dress up or take care of their appearance. A man likes his wife to smell good. If you are unhealthy or not presentable your man may cheat you behind your back.
12) Prepare the House: Maintain a clean house all the time. Clear away the clutter and spend time decorating the house. Apart from this be wise with money and take all the responsibilities of a wife seriously without complaining
QUALITIES OF A GOOD WIFE
7 DONT COMPLAIN YOUR HUSBAND TO ANYBODY
8 DONT COMPELL TO DO HOUSEHOLD WORK IF HE DISLIKES,REQUEST IN A POLITE WAY WHEN YOU ARE NOT FEELING WELL
9 DONT COMPELL YOUR HUSBAND FOR SHOPPING ALL THE TIME.
10 DONT PROVOKE THE HUSBAND TO SPENT MORE THAN THE INCOME.
11 INSTEAD OF COMPLAINING HIS FAULTS,THINK WISE AND MANAGE HIM
12 DONT SCOLD, ADVICE TOO MUCH
13 DONT TALK ABOUT THE PRESTIGE OF YOUR FAMILY ALL THE TIME.
14 DONT GIVE COMMANDS OR BLACK MAILS TO THEM
15 TRY TO AVOID TOO MUCH OF RESTAURANT VISITS
16 DONT DUMP THINGS UNNECESSARILY
17 DONT COMMENT ON HIS FAMILY MEMBERS TO HIM.
18 ALWAYS TRY TO ATTEND THE FUNCTIONS WITH HUSBAND INSTEAD OF LEAVING HIM AND NEGLECTING YOUR RESPONSIBILITY AS A HOUSEWIFE
19 AVOID TOO MUCH OF GUEST VISITS IF HE HESITATES
20 DONT INTERFERE IN HIS BUSINESS OR OFFICE MATTERS UNNECESSARILY
21 SOME HUSBAND'S HESITATE TO VISIT OTHER HOUSES,IN SUCH CASES DONT COMPELL HIM
22 GIVE SUGGESTIONS ONLY WHEN HE ASKS
23 DONT COMPELL HIM TO DRESS ACCORDING TO YOUR TASTE.
24 DONT BE TOO CRAZY ON DRESS AND ORNAMENTS.
25 DONT STEAL FROM YOUR HUSBAND AND HELP YOUR RELATIVES.
26 BE TRUTHFUL AND TRUSTWORTHY TO YOUR HUSBAND.
27 DONT SCOLD OR FIGHT WITH YOUR HUSBAND IN FRONT OF YOUR CHILDREN AS IT CREATES A LOW FEELING IN YOUR CHILD
Men need to receive
1 MUTUAL LOVE IS ESSENTIAL.
2 ACCEPTING AND LOVING THE HUSBAND AS HE IS
3 GOOD HOUSEKEEPING AND CLEANLINESS SHOULD BE PRACTICED.
4 A WAY TO A MAN'S HEART IS THROUGH HIS STOMACH,SO COOKING HAS TO BE DONE ACCORDING TO HIS TASTE AND PREFERENCE SO THAT HE ENJOYS FOOD.
5 LOVE,CARE,AFFECTION AND GIVING OPTIONS AND SUGGESTIONS INSTEAD OF ADVICES.
6 DONT WATCH AND COMPARE THE NEIGHBOUR'S FAMILY AND CREATE DESIRES UNNECESSARILY.7 DONT COMPLAIN YOUR HUSBAND TO ANYBODY
8 DONT COMPELL TO DO HOUSEHOLD WORK IF HE DISLIKES,REQUEST IN A POLITE WAY WHEN YOU ARE NOT FEELING WELL
9 DONT COMPELL YOUR HUSBAND FOR SHOPPING ALL THE TIME.
10 DONT PROVOKE THE HUSBAND TO SPENT MORE THAN THE INCOME.
11 INSTEAD OF COMPLAINING HIS FAULTS,THINK WISE AND MANAGE HIM
12 DONT SCOLD, ADVICE TOO MUCH
13 DONT TALK ABOUT THE PRESTIGE OF YOUR FAMILY ALL THE TIME.
14 DONT GIVE COMMANDS OR BLACK MAILS TO THEM
15 TRY TO AVOID TOO MUCH OF RESTAURANT VISITS
16 DONT DUMP THINGS UNNECESSARILY
17 DONT COMMENT ON HIS FAMILY MEMBERS TO HIM.
18 ALWAYS TRY TO ATTEND THE FUNCTIONS WITH HUSBAND INSTEAD OF LEAVING HIM AND NEGLECTING YOUR RESPONSIBILITY AS A HOUSEWIFE
19 AVOID TOO MUCH OF GUEST VISITS IF HE HESITATES
20 DONT INTERFERE IN HIS BUSINESS OR OFFICE MATTERS UNNECESSARILY
21 SOME HUSBAND'S HESITATE TO VISIT OTHER HOUSES,IN SUCH CASES DONT COMPELL HIM
22 GIVE SUGGESTIONS ONLY WHEN HE ASKS
23 DONT COMPELL HIM TO DRESS ACCORDING TO YOUR TASTE.
24 DONT BE TOO CRAZY ON DRESS AND ORNAMENTS.
25 DONT STEAL FROM YOUR HUSBAND AND HELP YOUR RELATIVES.
26 BE TRUTHFUL AND TRUSTWORTHY TO YOUR HUSBAND.
27 DONT SCOLD OR FIGHT WITH YOUR HUSBAND IN FRONT OF YOUR CHILDREN AS IT CREATES A LOW FEELING IN YOUR CHILD
28 UNDERSTAND YOUR HUSBAND 'S LIKES AND DISLIKES
Men need to receive
- Trust: Men love to know that they are the only one in your life. If you are serious about him put your trust on him. He is more likely to live up to your expectation when you are not suspecting him in every occasion.
- Acceptance: Accept him as he is. Men tend to have weird habits often but at the same time they don’t like to be criticized for that. Avoid criticizing him too often. Also, you mustn’t criticize him in public.
- Appreciation: Men are naturally egoists. They love appreciation and admiration. Appreciate them for what they have done or achieved even if it is minor.
- Admiration: Admire him for his talents and skills. If he is a sports freak then taking interest in his hobbies will bring him closer to you. If he is good at something don’t hesitate to show your admiration for him.
- Approval: Men seek approval for what they do. Women are more decisive and men for that matter are most indecisive. Even when you know you have better choice on a matter let him have the first say.
- Encouragement: Encourage him for what he has done or planning to do.
There is a basic reason for this state.
It is because we think that marriage would bring us joy!What a wrong assumption!
The lamp is not light.Buildings are not home.Books are not knowledge.
Only when one lives lovingly in a house,it becomes a home.Only when books are read,they provide knowledge.
So is it with married life.Happiness does not come from marrying a like minded boy or girl and being together forever.
If a husband and wife walk in different paths with diverse desires,then married life would not be successful.What is important is how they utilize each other’s strengths for the success of their married life.
Marriage is also like a lamp.only when husband and wife light it together it would bring illumination…that is joy A person who learn vedanta knows the art of living without any complaints.To him living with Sita and Shoorppanaka is the same as nothing disturbs his peace .Its better to start learning our life's user manual like BHAGAVAD GITA,UPANISHADS etc with the help of a Guru.
The lamp is not light.Buildings are not home.Books are not knowledge.
Only when one lives lovingly in a house,it becomes a home.Only when books are read,they provide knowledge.
So is it with married life.Happiness does not come from marrying a like minded boy or girl and being together forever.
If a husband and wife walk in different paths with diverse desires,then married life would not be successful.What is important is how they utilize each other’s strengths for the success of their married life.
Marriage is also like a lamp.only when husband and wife light it together it would bring illumination…that is joy A person who learn vedanta knows the art of living without any complaints.To him living with Sita and Shoorppanaka is the same as nothing disturbs his peace .Its better to start learning our life's user manual like BHAGAVAD GITA,UPANISHADS etc with the help of a Guru.
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