How to Deal With a Difficult Mother in law

                                

Is your mother in law a resentful one?

Is your mother in law bragging one?
Is your mother in law a pushy one?

Is your mother in law a bullying one?

Is your mother in law a critical one?
Is your mother in law possessive ,overbearing,crazy towards your husband?
Is your mother in law argumentative intrusive,greedy,needy,domineering?
Is your mother in law jealous on your relationship with your spouse?
                     Let us deal each point in detail for an effective solution.


How to deal with a difficult mother in law
                 Have Your Spouse Help Out         
                            
1 Express  your feelings to your spouse
                            Let your husband (or wife) know that the way their mother treats you is hurtful. You are entitled to share these feelings with your spouse. Do not criticize her - remember this is his/her mother - but don't protect her either. You can say something like, "Honey, your mom may not mean to be hurtful, but she was tonight. In the future, if she says something like (give the example that hurt you), I would appreciate it if you would speak up for me."

2  Get spousal support.
                  Does your spouse support you? It's very important and will determine your success in dealing with your mother-in-law. Sometimes you need to tell your spouse there's a problem, since s/he will not want to ruffle any feathers. Be clear and offer specific solutions that will be acceptable to both of you. Each of you should take responsibility for putting your marriage/spouse first, and your childhood family second, which sometimes requires you to protect your marriage from your birth family. If your husband/wife will not step up and protect you from his/her mother, then you have a problem that will plague you for your entire marriage.

3  Make your spouse understand that they must take the lead with their family.                            
                        If your spouse will not handle his/her family, you will never solve this problem. Your spouse's mother has already demonstrated that she doesn't respect or recognize you. Nothing you say or do will change that. Unless your spouse is willing to take charge, outline clear boundaries over which the mother must not step, and be willing to follow up these statements with action and definitive consequences, you will have to face the fact that you will not be able to ever change this relationship. That may be a deal breaker for you and for your marriage. If it is, let your spouse know before it's too late so that they have time to remedy the situation.

1 Set reasonable boundaries and stick to them. Decide what you can and can't compromise on and sit down to discuss your feelings with your mother in law . Let her know gently but firmly that you will not allow those lines to be crossed. Expect her to be shocked but stand your ground.

2 Encourage your mother in law to express her feelings and listen to her concerns but don't back down if she wants to pursue behavior that violates your privacy or rights as an adult and a parent.

3 Reinforce your decision by imposing no-contact penalties if your mother in law ignores your boundaries. When an infraction occurs, deal with it by showing her that you are serious and refuse contact with her for a set period of days.

4 Disarm any manipulative attempts by your mother in law to make you feel guilty. Clearly state that you do not feel guilty for standing up for your own rights and that you do not appreciate her efforts to try and guilt you into backing down or seconding-guessing your position.

5 Encourage your spouse to deal directly with the problem if his mother in law is being difficult. Discuss what boundaries are reasonable and allow him to speak to his mom. Mother-in-law situations are tricky and his mother may feel you're trying to shove her out of her son's life.