PARENTING METHODS AND PRACTICES

Parenting methods and practices

                           Parenting typically utilizes rewards, praise, and discipline or punishment as tools of behavioral control. Most child development experts now agree that corporal punishment is not an effective behavior modification tool, and many parents have adopted non-physical approaches to child discipline. In some jurisdictions, corporal punishment (spanking or whipping) has been prohibited by law.
Four main parenting styles have been identified in early child development research: Authoritative, authoritarian, permissive, and neglectful.^[10]
Authoritative parenting is characterized by high expectations of compliance to parental rules and directions, an open dialog about those rules and behaviors, and is a child-centered approach characterized by a warm, positive affect.
Authoritarian parenting is characterized by high expectations of compliance to parental rules and directions, the use of more coercive techniques to gain compliance, little parent-child dialog. This is a parent-centered approach characterized by cold affect.
Permissive parenting is characterized as having few behavioral expectations for the child, and is a child-centered approach characterized by warm affect.
Neglectful parenting is similar to permissive parenting but is a parent-centered approach characterized by cold affect.
Outcomes associated with each type of parenting has traditionally shown a strong benefit to authoritative parenting. These children have been shown to have more self-discipline, emotional self-control, more friends, and better school performance. However, recent research has identified a number of caveats. For example, authoritarian parenting may be more effective in certain contexts and in social groups other than those studied in early research. Most significantly, parenting has been shown to be part of a bi-directional relationship between parent and child. Thus, characterizing a parenting style as arising from the parent leaves out the essential influence of the child on the parent-child dynamic.
There have been many efforts to develop understanding of parenting, and to develop tools and educational programs to assist parents in better raising their children. Some examples follow.

Adlerian parenting

                Alfred Adler ,a pioneer in the field of child guidance, designed parenting tools and education programs in an effort to prevent mental health problems in later life. He believed that first and foremost, humans are primarily social beings—the parent-child relationship being the most important social relationship. Other key concepts that form the foundation of Adlerian parenting philosophy are:

• People behave according to their own subjective view of reality, so to understand others, including children, parents have to put themselves in their children's shoes
• Mutual respect between people is a cornerstone of life in a democracy; this includes men and women, races, ethnic groups, and between parents and children
• The "authoritative approach" (as opposed to autocratic and permissive) in parenting is most effective and include such methods as natural and logical consequences, recognizing the goals of behavior, family meetings and problem solving skills, the importance of encouragement, to name a few

Nurturant parent model

The nurturing parent model envisions a family model where children are expected to explore their surroundings with protection from their parents. This model is based on the assumption that children inherently know what they need and should be allowed to explore. Parents are responsible for protecting their child during this exploration, including protecting their child from themselves by offering guidance. A child should be picked up if the child cries because the parent wants the child to feel safe and nurtured. A child who grows up believing that its needs will be met will be more confident when facing challenges.

Strict father model

The strict father model of parenting is one which places strong value on discipline as a means to survive and thrive in a harsh world.
Ideas involved in this model include:

• That children learn through reward and punishment, as in operant conditioning
• That children become more self-reliant and more self-disciplined by having strict parents
• That the parent, particularly the father, is meant to mete out rewards for good behavior as well as punish bad behavior

So this model of child-rearing would involve allowing a child to cry themselves to sleep. Picking up a child when it should be sleeping might foster dependence on the parents and is not a display of discipline. In his book Dare to Discipline, James Dobson advocates the strict father model. However, researchers have linked authoritarian childrearing with children who withdraw, lack spontaneity, and have lesser evidence of conscience.^[11]

Attachment parenting Attachment parenting describes a parenting approach inspired in part by attachment theory. Attachment theory, originally proposed by John Bowlby, states that the infant has a tendency to seek closeness to another person and feel secure when that person is present. In comparison, Sigmund Freud proposed that attachment was a consequence of the need to satisfy various drives. In attachment theory, children attach to their parents because they are social beings, not just because they need other people to satisfy drives and attachment is part of normal child development.
Attachment parenting seeks to create strong emotional bonds and avoids physical punishment, with discipline being accomplished through interactions recognizing a child's emotional needs. The term "child training" implies a specific type of parenting that focuses on holistic understanding of the child. The "Taking Children Seriously" philosophy sees both praise and punishment as manipulative and harmful to children and advocates other methods to reach agreement with them. Discipline through "time-out" and parental supervision is encouraged. This approach regards as Love, Consistency, Structure, Motivation, and Accountability as fundamental to parenting.
Attachment parents seek to understand the biological and psychological needs of the children, and to avoid unrealistic expectations of child behavior. In setting boundaries and limits that are appropriate to the age of the child, attachment parenting takes into account the physical and psychological stage of development that the child is currently experiencing. In this way, parents may seek to avoid the frustration that occurs when they expect things their child is not capable of doing. Attachment parenting holds that it is of vital importance to the child that to be able to communicate needs to adults and to have those needs promptly met.

Parent as coach

Life Coaching draws from the fields of psychology, counseling, social work, consulting, management, spirituality, and yet it is it’s own unique profession. The goal of coaching is to evoke excellence in others. The coaching model has been found to be especially effective in parenting adolescents.^[12] At this stage they are striving for independence, a natural developmental phase. This model encourages parents to switch gears from the “teaching” and “managing” role used during the younger years, to a coaching role. Coaching honors the independence and resourcefulness of the other, while at the same time provides support and evokes the best in the other. Coaching honors the uniqueness, creativity, and resourcefulness of each individual. Teens respond well to this approach, as they long to feel heard and understood—two key elements in coaching.
The Parent as Coach model teaches parents problem-solving skills, as well as ways for parents to support their children in decision making and facing challenges. The Parent as Coach Materials provides practical solutions for parents to improve and strengthen their relationships with their  children.